Chapter 3 Capture LT

Chapter 3 Capture 1. Purpose Statement - This chapter is about defining topics and goals of a conflict. It will discuss the changing of goals during a conflict and how we can clarify our goals to have a more productive conflict. 2. Central Message and Application - a. Types of Goals: TRIP i. Topic or content ii. Relational iii. Identity iv. Process b. Topic Goals - what does each person want? i. They can be listed, argued, and supported. c. Relational goals - who are we to each other? i. How do we want to be treated by each other 1. What I need here is some respect ii. What kind of unit are we? 1. I thought we were best friends iii. They are at the heart of all conflict interactions d. Identity - who am I in this interaction i. How can my identity be protected during this interaction ii. When identity becomes an issue people are less flexible during a conflict.
iii. iv. How to tell someone is attempting to save face - 1. Claim unjust intimidation 2. Refuse to step back from a position 3. Suppress conflict issues v. Communication that can help - 1. Help others increase their sense of self-esteem. 2. Avoid giving directives. 3. Listen carefully to others and take their concerns into account. 4. Ask questions so the other person can examine his or her goals. e. Process goals - what communication process will be used? i. Some examples - 1. Giving each one equal time to talk 2. Consensus decisions made by subgroup 3. Talking informally before deciding 4. Having high power 5. Person decide secret ballot 6. Not allowing the children to speak 7. Voting
ii. Communication may change depending on the relationships involved iii. Process conflicts change when individuals feel heard. f. Overlapping of TRIP Goals i. Not all types of goals emerge in all disputes ii. Interests and goals overlap with another and differ in primacy iii. Identity and relational issues are the drivers of disputes; they underlie topic and process issues iv. In a serious dispute, topic only solutions are rarely satisfying to conflict parties v. Conflict parties often specialize in one kind of goal vi. Goals may emerge in a different form g. Prospective goals - goals that you can name beforehand i. Gain clarity about what you want from a meeting ii. Prepare yourself for discussion iii. Show respect for your own and others time and presence h. Transactive goals - goals that show up during the conflict i. During a conversation in conflict you may realize things you didn't know before and this will change your initial goal. i. Retrospective goals - these show up after the conflict is over. j. Goal Clarity - you want your goals to be clear. i. Then you can know which ones to abandon as the conflict continues ii. Solutions go unrecognized if you do not know what you want
iii. Only clear goals can be shared iv. Clear goals can be altered more easily than vague goals v. Clear goals are reached more often than unclear goals k. Collaborative goals - a good check list for good goals i. Short - medium and long-ranged issues are addressed ii. Goals are behaviorally specific iii. Statements orient toward the present and future iv. Goals recognize interdependence v. Collaborative goals recognize an ongoing process 3. Value Statement - This chapter is about goals and topics of conflicts. We need to be clear in what our goals are before a meeting or a conflict. Our goals can change throughout a conflict and that is ok. Prospective goals are identified beforehand, whereas transactive goals show up during the conflict. If you clarify your goals then you can be better at estimating the other's goals and you should work to build collaborative goals to have a more productive conflict.
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